


Right Here Waiting

by Crowgirl



Series: Scars Remind Us [35]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anna Tries to Be Helpful, In Which Cas is Dense, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-18
Updated: 2012-03-18
Packaged: 2017-11-02 02:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/364158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowgirl/pseuds/Crowgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ongoing discussion, and ramifications thereof, between Dean and Castiel about the after-effects of Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Here Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Further plot notes at the end.

XXXV.

‘Still hanging around after these two, huh?’

Castiel glances over at Anna, kneeling on the roof-tree beside him. He turns his gaze forward again, watching as the brothers stow their bags in the trunk of the Impala and take their seats. He can see the white bandage on Dean’s hand, the way the young man is favoring his arm, even giving the driving over to Sam, and he aches to heal the hurt.

He hears Anna settling herself and watches the Impala, hearing the engine rumble into life. 

‘Are you going to go after them?’

He says nothing, watching as the car pulls out, threading through the parking lot and turning onto the road. 

‘C’mon, Castiel. Talk to me.’

‘Why should you care what I do? The Winchesters are no longer a concern of yours. Neither am I.’ He glances sideways at her. ‘You got what you wanted from them. And from me.’

Anna shrugs, her long red hair sliding around her shoulders. ‘Maybe.’

‘Perhaps you should go after them.’ He turns his gaze forward again. ‘If you are so concerned.’

‘Castiel, you sound like a fourteen-year-old.’ Anna is rolling her eyes at him when he looks at her again.

‘I do not understand--’

‘No, I know you don’t but -- do you really think you’ve got the time to be hanging around here like an injured high schooler?’

‘What?’

She sighs and shifts position slightly. ‘Perhaps we should have sent you down to Earth more often.’

‘Am I failing in my charge?’

‘No, but -- it’s harder for you than it has to be.’

Castiel turns his eyes forward again, looking out over the road and the stores ranged on the far side of the state route. The black car is long out of sight. ‘I have made it harder than it needed to be.’

‘You...got involved.’ Her tone is studiedly neutral.

‘I am aware of that.’ Castiel keeps his eyes forward. ‘And of your disapproval.’

‘My...?’ Anna stops and, when she continues after a moment or two, Castiel could swear she sounds amused. ‘You misunderstand me, angel.’

He looks back at her, but her expression is uninformative. ‘How do I misunderstand you?’ She does not answer and he turns away. ‘What do you want of me, Anna? Do I have new orders?’

‘No, no new orders.’

Castiel sighs soundlessly. It would have been simpler had he been recalled or had his assignment been changed. He can imagine facing Dean again -- but it is not a pleasant thought. 

He has been going over the conversation from last night, trying to understand what was going on behind Dean’s words -- and he cannot seem to grasp it. Castiel had thought he was getting better at understanding the wordless communication between humans -- now he doubts everything he has done so far.

‘You have been trying very hard, Castiel -- I sympathise. The brothers are not -- easy to deal with.’

‘They were. It is...my fault that the situation has become...complex.’ He grimaces.

‘Oh, bullshit, Cas.’ Anna’s voice is suddenly very human and very exasperated. ‘Don’t kid the kidder -- I know what Dean’s like just as well as you do-- well. Maybe not _quite_ as well as you do.’ 

Castiel feels himself flush. ‘That will not happen again.’

‘Really? Shame.’

‘What?’ He turns to her in astonishment and she shrugs.

‘Seems to me like you enjoyed it. Wasn’t your fault it went all...’ She twists her hands in mid-air and shrugs again. ‘Screwy on you.’

‘It must have been my fault.’ Castiel turns to look out over the road again, although he can no longer really see it. 

‘Why?’

‘Dean would not answer me when I spoke to him. He must have been avoiding telling me something...painful. He would not wish to do me harm.’ The tightness in his throat comes back at the thought. 

‘And it never occurred to you that the answer was that _you_ hadn’t done anything.’

‘I...’ Castiel stops, frowning. It had seemed so clear that Dean was in pain and something must have happened to cause that and that Castiel’s actions had been the cause was the simplest explanation.

Anna claps her hands. ‘Give the boy a cigar. Really, Cas -- you should have spent more time on Earth.’

‘Had I been sent here--’ He cannot hold back the acid in his voice.

She holds up a hand to stop him. ‘Yes, yes, I know. You were sent; I fell. Let’s not go over _that_ again.’ 

‘Why have you come here, Anna. To taunt me with my failure? I will watch over the brothers as I have always done. They will be as safe as I can--’

‘I know.’ 

Her touch on his shoulder startles him, but he does not move away. Her hand is warm and comfortable.

‘No-one doubts that you guard them well.’

He nods silently.

‘I came for _you,_ Cas.’

‘I am in no trouble, Anna.’

She is silent for a long minute. Then, in that all-too-human voice, she says, ‘So it’s just fine with you that Dean drove away this morning?’

‘No!’ The word comes out sharp, hard, angry -- exactly the way he has been feeling since last night. 

He has lost count of the number of times he’s almost made up his mind to return to the room, demand an answer from Dean, an accounting of what he had done wrong because to have something so _good_ within his reach and have it slip away for some reason he cannot comprehend is infuriating.

But, then again, perhaps he was not meant to have it after all. 

‘Ah.’ She takes her hand off his shoulder and, out of the corner of his eye, he can see her nodding. ‘Then why didn’t you do something?’

‘What could I have done?’

‘Told him he was a fucking idiot, for starters. That’s a good starting place with him even if you don’t know what he’s been an idiot about. There’s got to be something!’ 

‘But he is very--’

‘Oh, _save_ it! Don’t sit here and tell me how smart Dean Winchester is.’ She snorts. ‘He’s been playing you like...like...like I don’t know what and you’ve _let_ him! _Why,_ Cas?’

‘I do not--’

‘And don’t tell me you don’t understand either. Maybe you haven’t been on Earth in a few years, but you used to be a regular and things aren’t that different.’

Castiel stares into the middle distance. ‘I...caused him to remember things. From the pit.’

‘He would have remembered those without you. And without your help to get through the remembering.’

‘Perhaps but -- he became -- wary of me. Of himself.’ Castiel sighs, dropping his head in his hands. He does not want to recount the events of the last night at Bobby’s to Anna. He is sure, in any case, that she already knows. ‘Perhaps he was right. Perhaps I cannot help him -- I tried but I just seemed to make things worse.’

‘Oh, Cas...’ Anna’s hand is back on his shoulder and she rubs at the tight muscle below his neck. ‘You’re such an idiot.’

‘I...am what?’ Castiel starts upright, staring at her. She is smiling affectionately at him and she shakes her head, clasping her hands between her knees.

‘Dean would no more willingly show you the door than he would his own brother.’

‘But he does not think of me as he does Sam--’

‘That’s all to the good, trust me.’

Castiel frowns. ‘Then I do not understand your point.’

Anna sighs. ‘You don’t, do you.’ She looks out over the parking lot. ‘Look...Cas, I’m just...you might want to think about how ...how Dean can be about other people. Or himself.’

‘You are saying that -- I know better than he does what he wants?’ 

‘No.’

‘Then say what you mean and allow me to do some work.’ Castiel stands up, abruptly tired of this wandering conversation.

Anna stands, too, balancing easily on the narrow roof-tree. ‘What I’m saying, Cas, is that maybe you need to think about how Dean treats _anyone_ he gets close to.’

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Right Here," Staind, _The Singles 1996-2006._
> 
> And in my little pet AU, Anna and Dean? Yeah, that never happened. But if you _really_ want it to have happened, it doesn't really matter to the continuity one way or the other so everyone's OTPs can co-exist! :)


End file.
